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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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New Memoir Reveals Navy SEAL Bounced A Few Book Ideas Off Bin Laden Before Killing Him

WASHINGTON—An early leak of the upcoming memoir documenting the raid that killed Osama bin Laden reveals the Navy SEAL who penned the in-depth account bounced several book ideas off the terrorist before shooting and killing him. “I was thinking the book could start with a little background on each member of SEAL Team Six before getting into the raid, but maybe it would be better if it started with all of us riding the helicopter to the compound—just to whet the readers’ appetites a little, you know?” the Navy SEAL, writing under the pseudonym Mark Owen, reportedly said while pointing a gun at bin Laden and encouraging him to “feel free to throw in any title suggestions [he] may have.” “And I was thinking there could be a quick profile to fill in your backstory a bit, so if you wouldn’t mind sharing a few interesting facts or anecdotes that haven’t already been covered in other books, that’d be great.” Prior to having his head blown off, bin Laden is said to have suggested a “pretty neat” technique of jumping back and forth in time between the SEAL team’s training and the actual mission.

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