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Entertainment

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.

Guide To The Characters Of ‘The Force Awakens’

The highly anticipated seventh episode in the ‘Star Wars’ series, ‘The Force Awakens,’ which will be released December 18, will feature several returning characters as well as a host of new ones. Here is a guide to the characters of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens.’

Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history
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Entertainment

New Michael Bay Romantic Comedy To Focus On Love Story Between 2 Explosions

LOS ANGELES—Saying that he’s wanted to do something a little more personal for some time now, director Michael Bay, known for such big-budget action films as Transformers and Armageddon, announced Tuesday the start of production on What Are The Odds?, a quirky romantic comedy about two unlikely explosions who fall in love.

According to Bay, who also wrote the script for the film, the rom-com centers around a type-A helicopter blast who thinks it has it all figured out when a free-spirited diesel truck explosion unexpectedly enters its life and shakes everything up.

“It’s really a nice little story because, on paper, these massive fireballs know they are wrong for each other, but they also have this undeniable connection they can’t ignore,” said Bay, adding that he’d actually been thinking about making a pared-down film about the small, everyday interactions between detonations since studying film in college. “This movie asks common, everyday questions like, ‘How does a jet-fueled explosion find love in this day and age?’ and ‘Can a high-octane blast really settle down? Or will it always chase any cheap-thrill oil tanker explosion any chance it gets?’”

“And the movie’s funny, too,” Bay added. “When a big misunderstanding leads to one explosion blowing up the Eiffel Tower and the other destroying the Empire State Building, well, let’s just say audiences are going to get a kick out of that scene.”

From the fireballs’ memorable meet-cute, when the two flaming eruptions accidentally bump into each other after one wave of fire blows through the Holland Tunnel and the other detonates when a 16-wheeler careens over a highway overpass, to how they initially fall in love after razing a New York café in a fiery inferno, Bay said that What Are The Odds? is, at its core, a love story.

While Bay didn’t want to give too much of the plot away, the director said that even though the explosions’ combustible materials couldn’t be more different—jet fuel is lighter than diesel and has anti-microbial agents, he noted—both ultimately share a common desire to settle down and one day blow up the United Nations building.

And, according to a smiling Bay, this is a film where dreams and desires definitely come true.

“You know, the more you live, the more you understand that an explosion, whether it’s a mushroom cloud pluming over Alcatraz or a fireball from a detonated extraterrestrial robot, only wants one thing: another explosion to share its life with,” the Pearl Harbor director told reporters. “I think I try to find that connection in all my films, but this movie gives me a chance to tell that story in a much more intimate way.”

Though shooting has just begun on the project, Bay said his lead pair of proximate pyrotechnics have the most chemistry of any two explosions he’s ever had the privilege of working with. Bay remarked that the intimacy they share will certainly help during a particularly sexy scene when both fireballs intertwine with one another and blaze up an elevator shaft, and when the two have a major fight and burn Los Angeles to the ground.

The cast is reportedly rounded out by the helicopter explosion’s best friend, a quirky fertilizer plant explosion, and the truck explosion’s father played by a “very funny” James Brolin.

“There is definitely the typical rom-com staples in this movie, but the film has a lot of depth and tells a story about relationships that I think moviegoers will really connect with,” Bay said. “Buildings come crashing to the ground, airports go up in flames, the Brooklyn Bridge gets incinerated, thousands of cars get blown up, and Mt. Rushmore gets turned into dust.”

“It’s a departure, for sure,” he added, “but I think it will be interesting for audiences to see this side of me.”

According to studio sources, the budget for What Are The Odds? is $250 million.

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