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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Carson Wentz

After being selected second overall in the 2016 NFL Draft, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz opened the season with a nearly flawless performance in a victory over the Cleveland Browns. Is he any good?
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New Mike Tyson Documentary Features Exclusive Interviews With Super Macho Man, King Hippo

AUSTIN, TX—A new documentary titled Punched Out!!: The Mike Tyson Story, which follows the legendary boxer's career from his debut as a challenger to the infamous DREAM FIGHT!! against Little Mac in 1987, will premiere at the 2009 SXSW Film Festival.

Ten of Tyson's most well-known opponents are interviewed in the film, with Von Kaiser, Soda Popinski, Don Flamenco, King Hippo, and others reminiscing about the boxer's career.

"Tyson was the best," said Mario, the referee who officiated every WVBA boxing match ever. "Most challengers couldn't even land a punch on him. They'd be knocked to the ground by a single blow, TKO'd within the first round, and forced to travel back to Hollywood to fight Super Macho Man again to qualify."

Running 144 minutes without pauses, the documentary follows Tyson through the MINOR, MAJOR, and WORLD CIRCUITS, where his fighting took him to faraway and exotic places, including Tokyo, Spain, the USSR, and Hippo Island.

Director Kazuo Yoneyama incorporates highlights from Tyson's storied career, including footage of the boxer blocking Great Tiger's Magic Punch instead of trying to dodge it, landing a knockout while fending off Piston Honda's devastating Bonzai Attack, and defeating Mr. Sandman even though all his friends said it was the most impossible thing ever.

"MY BODY [WAS] JUST SO TOTALLY COOL," a wistful Super Macho Man said during promotional interviews. Twenty years after his heyday, the clinically depressed former bodybuilder is confined to a wheelchair, the result of medical complications arising from the weight of his enormous upper torso bearing down upon his tiny legs.

Also sobering is the fate of Tyson's first-ever opponent, French boxer Glass Joe (0-99), one of the few boxers who could not be interviewed for the film, as the thousands of devastating blows he took to his head and body over the course of his career rendered him incapacitated in 1993. Glass Joe achieved his reluctant fame by telling Tyson to "MAKE IT QUICK...I WANT TO RETIRE" between the first and second round of their fight, an irony noted by the director.

Painstakingly editing thousands of hours of eight-bit footage from classic matches, director Kazuo Yoneyama uses a vivid yet somewhat primitive palate of 64 colors to portray Tyson as a talented but poorly defined boxing savant.

"Tyson was the toughest fighter in the boxing game at the time, but he was also the first fighter to pay attention to patterns and warning signals," Yoneyama said. "Before he came on the scene, no one realized that opponents sometimes raise their eyebrows or twinkle the gem in the middle of their turban immediately before throwing a punch."

Tyson himself admits that it was his incessant blinking—the only time he showed any weakness in the ring—that ultimately lead to his demise.

According to the film, Tyson went 31-1 with 27 knockouts, ultimately losing the heavyweight championship to the 107-pound Little Mac, a 17-year-old Bronx native. Mac, who was coached and managed by the legendary Doc, was known for his abnormally small stature and his limited arsenal, throwing only three kinds of punches throughout his career. He is also recognized as the first boxer ever to wear a tank top in the ring.

Tyson and Mac's infamous fight lasted two minutes and 59 seconds into the third round, the longest boxing match in WVBA history. The victory is known for having as many descriptions as there were witnesses.

Though Mac was revered for his unlikely victory, the documentary is unsympathetic toward the boxer, who was eventually embroiled in a number of scandals, including suspicion of using performance-enhancing drugs to gain health between the first and second rounds. Experts have claimed his workout regimen of merely jogging behind his bicycle-mounted coach would not have been sufficient to build the strength he displayed in the ring.

Tyson was also accused of purposely causing a clock glitch in his match against Glass Joe in order to break the KO time record, and there was the infamous "password" scandal, U.S. Supreme Court case number 007-373-5963, in which Mac was accused of unfairly skipping all the boxers and going directly to Tyson.

Yoneyama chose to leave Tyson's successor, Mr. Dream, out of the documentary, calling him "a copycat" and "an embarrassment to the sport."

The film is premiering in the SXSW Film Festival's documentary competition alongside Exciting Bikes, a documentary that explores many of the unanswered questions about motocross races of the 1980s, including the mystery of why the track was sometimes blue.

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