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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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New Movie Taps Into Nation's Love Of Rapping Kangaroos

HOLLYWOOD, CA—The new Jerry Bruckheimer comedy Kangaroo Jack has successfully tapped into America's longstanding love affair with rapping kangaroos, taking in a box-office-best $17.7 million in its opening weekend. "From Krazy Legs Kangol in the early '80s to such New School acts as Pouch Gangstas and Tha Mar$upials, kangaroos have always been at the forefront of the rap scene," media analyst Glen Coffey said. "But not until now has anyone had the vision to exploit this trend in a full-length feature film." Warner Bros. has already confirmed plans for a sequel, Koala Bob, featuring a computer-generated beat-boxing koala who steals $50 million in gold bullion... and he's not giving it back.

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