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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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New NBC College Football Poll Gives No. 1 Ranking To 'The Event'

NEW YORK—In its official college football poll for the week of Oct. 4, NBC Sports ranked its new prime-time thriller/suspense series The Event in the top spot over such traditional football powerhouses as Alabama, Florida, and recent popular favorite Boise State. "We respect Ohio State's offense, which is nearly but not quite as riveting as the action and stunning revelations of The Event," analyst Keith Arnold wrote on the NBC Sports website Monday. "And even though there are other top-notch programs out there, none of them matches the week-in, week-out quality of The Event. The Event, Mondays, 9 p.m. Eastern, 8 Central. The Event." Arnold went on to speculate that early Heisman favorites Denard Robinson of Michigan and Andrew Luck of Stanford, while explosive quarterbacks, were perhaps not quite as deserving of the award as the explosive new NBC series The Event.

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