New Nervous-Energy Drink Recreates Feeling Of Waiting For Girl To Call

Top Headlines

Recent News

Strongside/Weakside: Jurgen Klinsmann

Despite leading the U.S. men’s national team through the so-called “Group of Death” in the 2014 World Cup, Jurgen Klinsmann has come under heavy criticism this week after his side finished fourth in the 2015 Gold Cup. Is he any good?

How Apple Plans To Rebound From Apple Watch Flop

With sales of the Apple Watch reportedly down 90 percent since its initial release, Apple is suffering in the wearables market and faces a lack of enthusiasm about its latest product. Here are some ways Apple can improve the watch and prevent the company from falling into a slump:
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Good Times

Business

Coworkers Pull Off Daring One-Hour Lunch Break

TUCSON, AZ—Saying they couldn’t believe such a wild exploit had even been attempted, employees at local marketing firm Synergy Media Services told reporters they were still completely dumbfounded Thursday after account manager Tim Gibbons managed to pull off a daring one-hour lunch break.

New Nervous-Energy Drink Recreates Feeling Of Waiting For Girl To Call

LOS ANGELES—According to makers of the nervous-energy drink Pace!, the new beverage provides consumers with the same anxiety, restlessness, and self-doubt associated with waiting for a phone call from a much-desired female acquaintance. "Pace! gives you that unique, up-all-night feeling of dissecting every little thing she said last time you saw her," company spokesperson Geraldine Ponzari said at a press conference Monday. "With just the right blend of guarana, ginseng, and caffeine, Pace! will have your heart racing and your hands grabbing for your pockets every time you hear something that even remotely sounds like a ringing cell phone." Ponzari announced that Pace! is also developing a manic-energy drink, which will give consumers the feeling of maxing out their credit cards purchasing 400 snow shovels at Home Depot.