New Nolan Ryan Cookbook Features Over 200 Recipes For Baseballs

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Vol 48 Issue 49

Chad Greene and Danielle Faye

Chad Greene and Danielle Faye were married before friends and family this weekend, but as of press time it was not known if the ceremony was beautiful.

Oscar Mayer Unveils New Weiner Drone

The 15-year-old Duchess of McComb, Alabama announces her pregnancy, a 38-year-old little boy posts a picture of a fast car he likes on Facebook, and the nation's hardass cops finally find time to play games.

Pot, Gay Marriage Now Legal In Washington

Same-sex marriage licenses became available in Washington state yesterday at 12:01 a.m., and at the same time, a voter-backed law decriminalizing the recreational use of marijuana took effect.

Chris Christie Dreaming About 72-Inch Springsteen Sub

TRENTON, NJ—Slowly licking his lips and salivating as he indulged his imagination, New Jersey governor Chris Christie reportedly spent most of Friday afternoon alone in his office daydreaming about a mouthwatering 72-inch Springsteen sub.
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Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

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New Nolan Ryan Cookbook Features Over 200 Recipes For Baseballs

NEW YORK—Little, Brown and Company announced Monday the forthcoming publication of The Nolan Ryan Baseball Cookbook, a collection of recipes from MLB’s all-time strikeout leader that will include Down-the-Middle Meatballs, Slow-Cooked Pulled Fouls, Nolan’s Famous Cheese Casserole, and more than 200 other “finger-licking” dishes made from regulation baseballs. “There’s nothing better on a summer afternoon than throwing a few ground balls on the grill and cooking up some flame-broiled sliders,” read an excerpt from the first-ballot Hall of Famer’s cookbook, which will reportedly feature chapters on properly cutting a baseball, on techniques for dry and wet rubs, and on mixing the perfect screwball cocktail. “You’re going to want to put a bat or two on your grill and shut the lid to really smoke them right in there. And be sure to put on your mitt when you take them out, because those baseballs are going to reach high heat.” According to Ryan, the cookbook is a natural extension of his popular Fastballs Grille, which has been serving marinated, slow-roasted spitball kabobs at Rangers Ballpark since 2008.

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