OGDENSBURG, NJ—Taking hold of his body almost immediately, warm, syrupy pleasure was coursing through the veins of area man Matt Riley after the 30-year-old took a huge hit of mattress, sources said Monday.
NEW ORLEANSA tractor-trailer-sized meteorite struck downtown New Orleans late Monday night with comparable force to that of a small nuclear device. "The impact caused floodwaters in the area to vaporize, scalding everything in a four-mile radius with radioactive steam," said Claude Wyncoll of the U.S. Naval Observatory. "Burning debris shot into the troposphere, then rained down across the Gulf Coast, causing property damage and countless casualties as far away as Gulfport [MS]." FEMA and National Guard personnel are unable to enter the city, as the lava flow resulting from the meteorite's deep penetration of the Earth's crust has blocked all routes.