adBlockCheck

Recent News

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
End Of Section
  • More News

New Orleans Struck By Meteorite

NEW ORLEANS—A tractor-trailer-sized meteorite struck downtown New Orleans late Monday night with comparable force to that of a small nuclear device. "The impact caused floodwaters in the area to vaporize, scalding everything in a four-mile radius with radioactive steam," said Claude Wyncoll of the U.S. Naval Observatory. "Burning debris shot into the troposphere, then rained down across the Gulf Coast, causing property damage and countless casualties as far away as Gulfport [MS]." FEMA and National Guard personnel are unable to enter the city, as the lava flow resulting from the meteorite's deep penetration of the Earth's crust has blocked all routes.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close