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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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New Pixar Employees Required To Watch Adorable Sexual Harassment Video

EMERYVILLE, CA—According to sources within Pixar Studios, all new employees were required Monday to view an adorable eight-minute animated short about sexual harassment that featured Luxo, the company's iconic hopping desk lamp, and a slinking mustachioed glove known as Fingers. "Through the delightful misadventures of Fingers, our employees learn what types of behavior are and are not acceptable in the workplace," said human resources administrator Lydia Price, referring to a scene in which Fingers rubs up against Luxo, repeatedly flicks her light switch on and off, and cups her bulb inappropriately. "And thanks to Pixar's stunning visuals and heartwarming storylines, our sexual harassment film can be enjoyed by adults and children alike." While most new hires gave the video a positive review, they were less enthusiastic about the company's 401(k)-allocation buddy film, Matchy & Roth.

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