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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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New Prescription Fish Tank Eliminates Need For Glasses While Looking At Fish

SAGINAW, MI—Executives at Poseidon Aquatic Enclosures announced Monday the launch of a new line of made-to-order fish tanks that can be outfitted with customers' individual vision prescriptions. "How many times have you misplaced your eyeglasses yet still wanted to look at your fish?" company spokesperson Ian Barnes said of the new corrective tanks, which are available in sizes up to 100 gallons. "Never again with the new IchthyOptic System. Whether you have a slight astigmatism or need a bifocal tank to simultaneously look at your tiny gobies and large plecostomus, Poseidon can provide you with a crystal-clear fish-viewing solution." Barnes said the company is also developing a line of fish tanks that will incorporate Transitions-brand automatic tinting technology, which will eliminate glare when looking at fish outside on sunny days.

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