adBlockCheck

Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
End Of Section
  • More News

New Pro Football Hall Of Fame Exhibit Allows Visitors To Experience Concussion

CANTON, OH—In an effort to provide visitors a truly immersive look at the life of an NFL player, the Pro Football Hall of Fame reportedly unveiled a new exhibit Wednesday that allows museum patrons to experience the effects of suffering a concussion on the field of play. “This interactive display gives our guests the unique opportunity to see what it feels like to sustain a real traumatic brain injury as if they were actually being crushed into the turf,” Hall of Fame executive director Stephen Perry said of the newly installed exhibit, in which museum guests insert their head and neck into a tightly fitted box that is then abruptly jolted in order to simulate a vicious helmet-to-helmet hit from a 250-pound linebacker. “We have gone to great lengths to ensure that the entire concussion experience produces the real physical, cognitive, and emotional symptoms resulting from violent head trauma. And we believe our guests will find the entire process—from the moment their vision goes dark to their years and years of ensuing headaches, memory loss, and unpredictable mood swings—utterly fascinating.” Perry noted that immediately following the moment of impact, the Hall of Fame’s staff administers a cursory physical examination in which they determine that the recent concussion isn’t anything serious, after which the visitor’s head goes right back into the box.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close