INDIANAPOLIS—Smiling as she greeted her husband’s new running mate onstage at a campaign rally Wednesday, Heidi Cruz is said to have drawn Carly Fiorina into a tight hug and whispered “Run! Run, and never look back!” into the former Hewlett-Packard CEO’s ear.
MODESTO, CA—According to late-night television sources, a revolutionary new product that can do all of the tasks of several clunky, space-wasting devices that cost twice as much, is currently available for just three easy payments of $29.95. "It does the work of 15 similar items in half the time and with none of the mess," said an unidentified, enthusiastic man, who explained that by ordering in the next half hour, callers would receive a second, identical space-age product at no additional cost. "And after all that abuse, it still works on a tomato!" Buyers will reportedly be able to return the not-available-in-stores product for a full refund after a 30-day trial period if they are not completely satisfied with the firmness and definition of their abs