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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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New Product Can Do All That, More

MODESTO, CA—According to late-night television sources, a revolutionary new product that can do all of the tasks of several clunky, space-wasting devices that cost twice as much, is currently available for just three easy payments of $29.95. "It does the work of 15 similar items in half the time and with none of the mess," said an unidentified, enthusiastic man, who explained that by ordering in the next half hour, callers would receive a second, identical space-age product at no additional cost. "And after all that abuse, it still works on a tomato!" Buyers will reportedly be able to return the not-available-in-stores product for a full refund after a 30-day trial period if they are not completely satisfied with the firmness and definition of their abs

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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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