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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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New PSA Reduces Accidental Staplings By 33 Percent

WASHINGTON, DC—In the wake of a campaign launched by the Occupational Safety And Health Administration this spring, accidental stapling incidents among U.S. office workers have fallen by one-third. "We're pleased that 'Stop, Look, and Swingline!' has done so much to promote public awareness of office-stapler safety," said OSHA head Jonathan Snare. "Our primary areas of concern are the fingertips and the delicate thumb-forefinger webbing." OSHA was inspired to make the film after a 2002 PSA was credited with reducing the number of manila-file-foldering fatalities by 20 percent.

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