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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.
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New Pumpkin Spice Channel To Offer Fall-Themed Hardcore Pornography

NEW YORK—Accommodating their viewers’ nonstop demands for seasonal hardcore porn, Spice Networks has rolled out their new Pumpkin Spice Channel, offering 24-hour autumn-themed pornographic films and videos. “Now the world’s dirtiest sluts can be seen taking it in every hole while they’re apple picking in northern Massachusetts or when their fall foliage tour guide turns out to be a hot M.I.L.F who’s ready to party,” Spice publicist Glenn Fitzhugh said at a Monday press event.  “We are proud to give our fans this new service, launching Friday night with soon-to-be autumnal porn classics The Pumpkin Snatch, In Cider, and Indian Cornholers. You’ll also love our Halloween Spootakular featuring Ron Jeremy in Frankenstein’s Monster Cock.” Fitzhugh added that early subscribers will receive free access to the pay-per-view Skanksgiving broadcast of Gobble-Gobble 2: Stuffed Again.

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