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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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New Receiver Michael Jenkins Unable To Finish Reading Vikings' Tedious Playbook

MANKATO, MN—Newly acquired Minnesota Vikings wide receiver Michael Jenkins told reporters Tuesday he was struggling to finish reading his new playbook, calling it tedious, unoriginal, and oftentimes "all over the place." "I've read a lot of playbooks, and I'm always paying closest attention to the receivers, and some of the things I'm seeing in here I don't think a wideout would actually do," said Jenkins, adding that in some places the playbook is completely contrived and boring, and that on several occasions he’s fallen asleep after reading just four or five pages. "Now the Falcons’ playbook, that was great. I couldn't put it down. I breezed through that baby in two nights and honestly found myself wanting to go back and read parts of it again." As of press time, Jenkins was attempting to watch Vikings game film but reportedly walked out of the projection room after just 10 minutes.

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