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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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New Report Suggests It Kind Of Weird Baseball Uniforms Have Belts

CINCINNATI—Raising questions about the logic of the long-held convention, a new report released Tuesday by Xavier University’s Department of Sports Studies revealed that it’s sort of weird baseball uniforms have belts. “If you step back and view the situation objectively, the fact that professional baseball players are running around the field in pants held up by a leather belt is a little odd,” said Dr. Nathan Gibbons, lead author of the 350-page report, confirming that it’s difficult to explain why baseball pants would even have belt loops to begin with. “These are elite-level athletes, remember, and they’re playing a sport—running, jumping, and throwing—all with belts around their waists. And presumably a player has at some point needed to adjust his belt buckle in the middle of a baseball game. That’s weird. They should just wear pants with an elastic waistband or something.” According to Gibbons, the extensive report goes on to conclude it’s just flat-out bizarre that baseball jerseys are essentially button-down short-sleeve shirts.

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