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Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

NFL Implements New Court Date Attire Regulations

NEW YORK—Citing players’ responsibility to represent themselves and the league in a professional manner, the NFL announced a new set of regulations Monday governing the attire that players are allowed to wear during court dates.

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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New Rocky Film Just Three Montages

HOLLYWOOD—Film critic Jeff Reese, who viewed an advanced screening of Rocky Balboa at Arclight Cinemas last Friday, has reported that the newest installment in the Rocky franchise is mainly composed of three extended montages. "The first [montage] occurs nine minutes into the film, right after Rocky is offered a chance to fight the champion, as Rocky recalls everything in his life that brought him to this point. There are flashbacks of, among other things, him arguing with Mick in his dingy apartment, ice-skating with Adrian, holding Apollo Creed while he dies in his arms, and defeating the Russian, all while several of the series' trademark musical numbers including 'The Measure of a Man' and 'There's no Easy Way Out' play in the background," said Reese, noting that the montage sequences were extremely well-edited and comprehensive. "Once we rejoin Stallone's character in the present, the film launches into a 25-minute training montage, set to an extended version of 'Eye of the Tiger' that eventually segues into 'Gonna Fly Now' as Rocky once again sprints up the stairs of the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Once we finally arrive at the momentous final bout, Bill Conti's 'Going the Distance' is played as the number of each brutal round fades in and out, suggesting that the match is more of a long battle of attrition. That sort of thing." Reese added that the movie was "pretty much what [he] expected."

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