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What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Saying she hadn’t missed a summer since she was on the U.S. Court of Appeals, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said Tuesday that she had once again returned to her off-season lifeguarding job at Splash Central waterpark.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Contents Of The Voyager Golden Record

Forty years ago this week, NASA launched Voyager 2, which carries a gold-plated record featuring pictures and sounds from Earth as well as scientific information, all of which was carefully compiled in anticipation of a possible extraterrestrial encounter. Here are the contents of the record:
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New Roomba Blender Makes Smoothie Out Of Everything In Its Path

BEDFORD, MA—In an exciting extension of their product line, the creators of the Roomba-brand self-directed vacuum cleaner have introduced the Yumba, a new household blender capable of mixing a rich, frothy smoothie out of whatever ingredients it sucks up from your floor. “With the Yumba, you can make a banana, floor sweepings, and wheat germ shake; a strawberry-mango-cigarette-butt frappé; or, for a light lunch, a zesty toenail-clipping-cat-hair-dead-skin-and-pineapple smoothie,” product developer Peter Olsen said Monday, demonstrating the new device on a carpet covered in sawdust, garden vegetables, and detritus. “Mmm, you can taste the cobwebs.” When asked if the Yumba could make smoothies out of pennies and melon, Haskins said that it could.

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