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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.

A Timeline Of Valentine’s Day History

Every February, people across the world engage in romantic traditions with their loved ones in celebration of Valentine’s Day. The Onion provides a timeline of the holiday’s inception and evolution:
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New Rumsfeld Scholarship Awarded To Student Who Demonstrates Potential To Ignore Geopolitical Consequences Of Armed Invasion

CHICAGO—West Roosevelt High School student Jeremy Holloran became the first recipient of the Donald Rumsfeld Scholarship for Limited Geopolitical Foresight on Wednesday, a recognition bestowed upon students who demonstrate impressive potential for disregarding the predictable fallout that accompanies the invasion and occupation of a sovereign nation. "Through his academic achievements, volunteer activities, and Chess Club successes, Jeremy has shown he has the same thirst for power and blind hubris that a Rumsfeld scholar must embody," said Patricia Keith, who presides over the board that selected Holloran. "We are excited to watch him flourish in college, where he will no doubt excel at arrogantly and wantonly ignoring the influence native tribes have in the region over which he intends to exert control." Although he has not yet picked a school, Holloran said he plans to take a year off before college to be appointed chairman of Gilead Sciences Inc. and serve in the Nixon administration.

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Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

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