New Sealy Mattress Recreates Feeling Of Falling Asleep On Bus

Top Headlines

Innovation

Cree

Email From Mom Sent At 5:32 A.M.

DENVER—After waking up and finding the message waiting on his computer, local man Drew Swanson confirmed to reporters Thursday that his mother had sent him an email at 5:32 a.m.

Apple Unveils Panicked Man With No Ideas

CUPERTINO, CA—At a highly anticipated press event at its Silicon Valley headquarters Tuesday afternoon, tech giant Apple officially unveiled to the public a panicked and completely idea-free man. The white, ultrathin man, who exhibited such features...

Progressive Charter School Doesn’t Have Students

ATLANTA—One year into its founding as the purported “bold next step in education reform,” administrators on Monday sang the praises of Forest Gates Academy, a progressive new charter school that practices an innovative philosophy of not ...

Local Laundromat Employs Social Media Coordinator

CHESTER, PA—Saying that it was the next logical step for the company, the owners of local laundromat Sudz Cleaners told reporters Tuesday that they had recently hired social media coordinator Dan Elmets, 26, to lead the development and execution of ...

Executive Creative Too

NEW YORK—Saying he likes to think of himself as “more than just a stuffy businessman in a suit,” Wyatt Media Group CEO Barney Washburn, 57, informed reporters today that he is actually quite creative, too. According to Washburn, in addit...

New Apple CEO Tim Cook: 'I'm Thinking Printers'

SAN FRANCISCO—Following the resignation of Apple founder Steve Jobs, incoming CEO Tim Cook called a meeting of shareholders and members of the press Thursday morning to announce that he envisioned printers as the company’s future.

Innovative Fat Man Combines Waffles With Ice Cream

ATLANTA—The world culinary community is hailing the ingenuity of Atlanta-area fat man Gene Bando for his counterintuitive juxtaposition of Aunt Jemima blueberry frozen waffles and Häagen-Dazs butter-pecan ice cream, resulting in a delightful taste sensation. "I have combined the best of both worlds," the obese visionary told reporters Monday. "The delicious taste of waffles combined with the irresistible flavor of ice cream truly is a win-win situation, if you will." Bando is now widely believed to be researching a bold interplay of hot dogs and gravy.

New Toothbrush Slightly Different From Already Existing, Perfectly Good Toothbrushes

BELMONT, CA—At a press conference Monday, Oral-B Laboratories unveiled its much-anticipated new DentuTek 6.0 toothbrush, touted by its designers as slightly different from the hundreds of perfectly good toothbrushes currently on the market. "This toothbrush design is perfect for those who are not satisfied with the 846 existing toothbrush designs currently on the market," Oral-B director of product development Julianne Wuerfel said. "Finally, the American consumer has an 847th choice." According to Wuerfel, the DentuTek 6.0 features a patented ErgoDynamic(TM) handle, tapered to a curve vector almost .002 inches from its nearest competitor, the Colgate 34-XB, as well as a revolutionary new Tri-Level Bristle-Control System(TM). "We're very excited," Oral-B CEO Palmer Esch said. "Our team of toothbrush designers and engineers labored intensely to develop a toothbrush that fit within the infinitesimally small window of as-yet-undesigned toothbrush styles. And they did it."
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Healthy Eating

Originality

Innovation

Cree

New Sealy Mattress Recreates Feeling Of Falling Asleep On Bus

TRINITY, NC—Sealy, the company known for providing innovative sleep technology with its Posturepedic, TrueForm, and SpringFree mattresses, on Monday unveiled the Destination, a mattress designed to simulate the sensation of drifting off to sleep on a moving bus.

"Whether you choose the window or the aisle model, you'll feel the difference after just one night, especially in your back," said Sealy spokeswoman Georgia Mitchell, who added that users' muscles are repeatedly stimulated throughout the night by the bed's patented "bounce and rattle" mechanism. "Most importantly, the hyper-constricted sleep space, coupled with the ergonomic, semi-upright design, cuts in half the tossing and turning one experiences on a regular mattress."

For an extra $150, consumers can purchase a specially designed crumpled-jacket pillow as an alternative to using their fists.

Next Story