adBlockCheck

Entertainment

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 31, 2017

Aries: They say there’s nothing quite like the bond between a mother and her child, but then they have yet to see your experimental new adhesive compound. Taurus: The stars, in their infinite wisdom, recommend that you check yourself this week, as not doing so might lead you to wreck yourself in the future.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:
End Of Section
  • More News

New Sitcom Pulls Back The Envelope

LOS ANGELES—Fox network executives excited about the ground-mending situation comedy Family House, which will debut this fall, told reporters Monday that the program has pulled back the envelope on modern television, and is sure to give viewers a "30-minute Ferris-wheel ride."

"Unbuckle your seat belts, America, we're already here," said cocreator and executive producer Kimberly Hodge, who touted the show's traditional three-camera setup and nuclear-family cast as "as nothing you've never seen before." "Our team of veteran writers is committed to bringing you only the kinds of basic conflicts, wildly predictable twists, and fast, easy resolutions you've come to expect from network television."

Hodge added that executives are equally pleased with their new action drama, Crime Unit, whose formulaic structure and conservative cinematography has kept test audiences "on the backs of their seats."

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings