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New Sitcom Pulls Back The Envelope

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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New Sitcom Pulls Back The Envelope

LOS ANGELES—Fox network executives excited about the ground-mending situation comedy Family House, which will debut this fall, told reporters Monday that the program has pulled back the envelope on modern television, and is sure to give viewers a "30-minute Ferris-wheel ride."

"Unbuckle your seat belts, America, we're already here," said cocreator and executive producer Kimberly Hodge, who touted the show's traditional three-camera setup and nuclear-family cast as "as nothing you've never seen before." "Our team of veteran writers is committed to bringing you only the kinds of basic conflicts, wildly predictable twists, and fast, easy resolutions you've come to expect from network television."

Hodge added that executives are equally pleased with their new action drama, Crime Unit, whose formulaic structure and conservative cinematography has kept test audiences "on the backs of their seats."

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