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Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.

Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job

SEATTLE—Admitting that the sight of him laying out his vision for the company was pretty endearing, employees at Rainier Solutions reported Monday that it was kind of sweet that CEO Greg Warner thinks he is doing a good job.

How Obamacare Can Be Improved

With Aetna just the latest health insurance provider to opt out of covering Obamacare markets, many are wondering what changes can make the Affordable Care Act more appealing to customers and insurance companies. Here are some proposed improvements

How Internet Clickbait Works

Facebook and other sites have recently begun to fight back against “clickbait,” often misleading internet posts designed to be seen by as many readers as possible. The Onion breaks down the production and spread of this content
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New Snack Chip Evades Digestive System, Burrows Straight Into Heart

NEW YORK—At a high-profile media event Tuesday, Frito-Lay unveiled its new Diggz tortilla chip, touted as the first-ever snack that entirely bypasses the stomach and intestines by burrowing directly into the consumer’s heart. “Every one of our savory Diggz corn chips is slow-baked to the perfect golden crispiness so it can bore out of your esophageal passage, through the lungs, and directly into the aorta to deliver the flavor you crave right to the center of your circulatory system,” Frito-Lay spokesperson Vanessa Coviello told reporters, explaining how the chip’s corkscrew shape and serrated ridges allow it to cut through thick layers of muscle and sinew and lodge itself deep in one’s cardiac tissue. “And with mouthwatering varieties like Nacho Cheese, Ranch, Barbecue, Sriracha, and Sweet Mesquite, you won’t be able to stop snacking until every chip in the bag is tunneling through your thoracic cavity. So bring a little zest to your chest with new Frito-Lay Diggz.” Coviello added that certain select test markets would also be able to try the company’s new Cheetos Flamin’ Hot Blasters, a spicy puffed cornmeal snack that detonates with tremendous combustible force when placed in the consumer’s mouth.

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