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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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New Species Of Van Gundy Sheds Light On Development Of Near-Human Ancestors

Archaeologists are studying the fossilized remains of a previously undiscovered species of Van Gundy found in Montana this week. Previously believed to be a subspecies of the Homo genus, scientists now believe Van Gundys are an altogether separate species, which has been living alongside humans and surviving off their refuse since the dawn of civilization.

The evolution of the Van Gundy species has been a slow, often awkward process, with their development lagging well behind humans.

Despite their large skulls, poor physicality and brooding nature, Van Gundy civilization also developed much slower than humans, owing to their susceptibility to mites and indifference towards hygiene. Known as "the cockroach of primates," Van Gundys primarily survived by living in shelters abandoned by early human tribes, eating their leftovers and motivating humans to hunt and forage for them with their barking yelps and their nervous, overstressed temperaments.

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