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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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New Study Finds Americans Need 6 Hours Of Sleep At Work

PHILADELPHIA—A study published Monday in the Annals Of Internal Medicine concludes that the average American needs at least six full hours of uninterrupted sleep at work in order to leave the office feeling refreshed and alert. "Millions of people are staying up way too late at work," said endocrinologist Hannah Presnall, adding that in order for the body to function properly, workers should arrive at their job, check and send e-mails for two to three hours, and be asleep by 11:30 a.m. at the latest. "More and more people are pulling all-dayers and drinking coffee just to keep themselves awake for meetings and conference calls. But when compared with their better-rested coworkers, these individuals are far more likely to suffer from fatigue and decreased cognitive performance at home." The study recommends that adults who continually find themselves awake at work take Ambien first thing in the morning so they can fall asleep as soon as they arrive at the office.

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