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Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Notable Female Writers Throughout History

Jane Austen died 200 years ago today, but she continues to be widely read and influential to today’s writers. The Onion highlights some of the most notable female authors throughout history.
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New Study Going To Take Another Week Or So, Report Scientists Who Look As If They've Been Crying

CAMBRIDGE, MA—A new study scheduled to be released today by the cognitive sciences department at MIT is going to have to be delayed at least another week or so, confirmed a group of red-eyed scientists who looked as though they might burst into tears at any moment. "For the past year and three months, our team has been compiling data related to what will eventually be groundbreaking new findings in the field of neuroscience, but unfortunately…excuse me…unfortunately, we're going through some pretty tough stuff at the moment, and it's just…it's just not ready yet," said Professor Michael Frazier, his voice trembling. "I know you all came here today expecting a study, and we let you down. But given the circumstances, I'm sorry, there's just no way it was going to happen. Not after this. No way. Please don't yell at us." Asked whether they were okay and if they needed anything, the researchers attempted to utter a response and then quickly ran out of the room.

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