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34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.

Mom Produces Decorative Gift Bag Out Of Thin Air

LEXINGTON, MA—Conjuring the item into existence along with several sheets of perfectly coordinated tissue paper, local mother Caroline Wolfson, 49, reportedly produced a decorative gift bag out of thin air Tuesday within a mere fraction of a second of her daughter mentioning she needed to wrap a present.

Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.
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New Therapist Obsessed With Old Therapist

STONE HARBOR, NJ—Dr. Peter Crosley, the psychotherapist seen by real-estate broker Rachel Falbaum since March, has become increasingly focused on the thoughts and techniques of Dr. Seth Hirschfeld, Falbaum's therapist from the summer of 2001 until this spring. "Going back to your sister, whom you seem to believe is more successful: How did your therapist feel about her?" said Crosley to Falbaum during a session Monday. "Would you describe your feelings towards his discussions of her as resentment? Because it's quite revealing if this guy never asked about your sister. I certainly wonder how that might make me feel." For her part, Falbaum said that her sessions with Crosley have helped her to view her former therapist in a different light, one which will "definitely" enable her to move on to new therapy.

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