New Ultra-Realistic Xbox Game Has Users Press B Repeatedly To Make Character Breathe

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Vol 49 Issue 24

More White Americans Dying Than Being Born

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, for the first time in modern history, more white Americans are dying than being born, with whites predicted to fall below 50 percent of the population by 2043.

NSA: Surveillance Thwarted ‘Dozens’ Of Terrorist Acts

The NSA chief claimed that his agency’s phone and internet surveillance programs had stopped “dozens” of acts of terrorism, and the FBI director added that, had the programs been in place at the time, the government could have also preve...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

New Ultra-Realistic Xbox Game Has Users Press B Repeatedly To Make Character Breathe

LOS ANGELES—In an exclusive preview to fans gathered in Los Angeles this week for the E3 gaming conference, Microsoft officials reportedly unveiled an ultra-realistic new game for their upcoming Xbox One console that requires players to press the B button repeatedly in order to make their characters breathe. “Through the careful and constant pressing of different buttons, players are able to control not only breathing, but a steady heart rate, digestion, and other autonomic body functions as they help their avatars maintain homeostasis and complete their missions,” Microsoft spokesman Michael Drew said of the single-player game, adding that players will use one analog stick to move the left leg forward and the other analog stick to move the right leg forward. “To pump your avatar’s heart, for example, all you have to do is rapidly press the left bumper button, making sure to increase heart rate during periods of increased exercise. And then, of course, a second controller is needed for unholstering and firing your weapon, although players will still have to make sure, using the first controller, that their character is still breathing and his heart continues beating during this period.” Sources at E3 say early feedback for the game has been mixed due to the fact that gameplay begins in the middle of a shootout and you only get one life.

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