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Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.

Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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New Walgreens Facebook Plugin Allows Users To See What Prescriptions Friends Are Picking Up

DEERFIELD, IL—In an effort to enhance its social media presence, Walgreens pharmacies announced Wednesday the launch of "RxSocial," a new Facebook plugin that enables users to "view, share, and comment on" the prescription drugs their friends are taking. "Our goal is to create an interactive community that lets your friends see what your current dosage of Xanax is, what method of birth control you prefer, or whether you're likely to have any spare Adderall," said Walgreens e-commerce chief Sona Chawla, explaining that drug purchases show up automatically on users' Facebook profiles and appear in their friends' news feeds. "RxSocial even offers a real-time view of which drugs are trending right now." At press time, Gina Sims of Lawton, OK had picked up her lithium.

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