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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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New X-Men Film Features Bryan Singer Traveling Back In Time To Molest Younger Self

LOS ANGELES—Early reviews confirmed Thursday that X-Men: Days Of Future Past, the latest installment in the popular superhero film series, prominently features a storyline in which director Bryan Singer journeys through a portal in the space-time continuum to an earlier era, where he coerces his 16-year-old self into sexual intercourse. “Hey, I work in movies—you have any interest in Hollywood?” the director reportedly says in the film, caressing his teenage self’s shoulder in a scene preceded by a montage that includes Singer frantically searching for a coke dealer on the Lower East Side and attempting to contact older studio executives for a “wild party” later that night. “There’s going to be a little get-together in my hotel room at the Ritz later on. Tons of kids like you will be there, and a few showbiz bigwigs. Let me tell you, with a face like that, I can make big things happen for you. I really mean it.” Several reports indicated that the latter portion of the movie’s plotline focuses on Singer locked in a pulse-pounding race against time to prevent his adolescent self from filing sexual assault charges and destroying his career.

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