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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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New York City Marathon Winner Does Cool-Down Jog Back To Kenya

NEW YORK—In an effort to reduce soreness and prevent injury, New York City Marathon winner Geoffrey Mutai immediately followed his victory Sunday with a 7,209-mile cool-down jog from Central Park to his hometown of Mumberes, Kenya. "Got to keep the blood flowing," Mutai told reporters, jogging into the East River until his body was fully submerged. "I can’t stress how important cooling down is for slowing your pulse and easing the strain on blarghlarlarblublub." Mutai was last spotted emerging from the shores of Cape Verde and continuing his run without removing the seaweed covering his body or the squid attached to the top of his head.

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