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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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New York Giants Locker Room Somber After Embarrassing Win

WASHINGTON, DC—Mere moments after their gutsy and much-needed last-minute win over the Redskins Sunday, Giants players and coaches found themselves depressed, despondent, and driven to the brink of giving up at the outcome. "There were times during tonight's game when I really didn't think we could do it," said receiver Plaxico Burress, who was rewarded for his brilliant game-saving last-minute 33-yard touchdown catch and run with a congratulatory chewing-out by Tom Coughlin in front of the entire team. "And you know what? Even though we won, I still don't think we can do it. Coach is right—we're a bunch of losers who just don't have what it takes." Coughlin said he was "disgusted and satisfied" with the team's utter lack of motivation and confidence and says he plans to have morale completely destroyed in time to miss the playoffs.

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