New York Jets Finish Season

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Vol 42 Issue 02

Bowl Week Highlights

The 2005-2006 NCAA football season culminated with a week of unusually memorable college bowl games. What are the most notable moments?

Pete Rose Caught Trying To Get Inducted Into Hall Of Fame Under Assumed Name

COOPERSTOWN, NY—The Baseball Writers Association of America announced that the "former Cincinnati Reds superstar" and "quiet, unassuming model citizen" by the name of "Pat Rosenburg," whose career statistics merited Hall of Fame consideration, was revealed by investigators to be a desperate, mustachioed, glasses-wearing Pete Rose.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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New York Jets Finish Season

RUTHERFORD, NJ—Despite the doubts of many football fans, media figures, and people within the Jets organization itself, the New York Jets have indeed finished their entire 2005-2006 season. "We might have lost 12 games, our coach, and possibly our starting quarterback," said GM Terry Bradway, who called the season a "qualified success" in a subdued press conference Tuesday. "But in spite of everything, we fielded a team that played 16 regular-season NFL games. There are only 31 other teams out there who can say the same thing." Bradway would not comment on whether the Jets would be able to complete future seasons, saying that, for now, team management was concentrating on making it through all seven rounds of the NFL draft.
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