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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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New York Philharmonic Hosts Open-Mic Night

NEW YORK—The New York Philharmonic Orchestra announced Monday that it will continue its popular open-mic nights throughout the 2005 fall season, encouraging everyone to "bring nothing but your instrument, 10 bucks, and whatever talent God gave you." According to director Lorin Maazel, "There are a lot of people out there with a cello or an oboe but no one to play with. Come on stage—we know over 500 symphonies! But please, no stand-up." Highlights of last year's open-mic nights included Mr. Maazel conducting data-entry technician Stacy Peterson and auxiliary-equipment operator Dan Fowles in a performance of Brahms' Double Concerto in A minor.

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