'New York Times' Reader Stoked After Noticing Article Penned By Favorite Reporting Duo

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Vol 49 Issue 23

Uncle vs. Uncle

truTV 9 p.m. EDT/8 p.m. CDT The only show on television that pits real uncles against real uncles in a competition of wit, strength, and general uncleship.

Couple Keeps Marriage Together For The Sake Of No One

Taylor Swift enters an alternate universe to date a body building George Harrison, a study finds that 83 percent of gamblers quit right before they would have hit the big one, and an Asian guy has a separate group of Asian friends.

U.S. Operating Massive Online Spying Program

The National Security Agency admitted to accessing the databases of many of the largest internet companies including Google, Facebook, Apple, and Skype, allowing the agency to mine the contents of emails, photos, videos, chats, and other online data.
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'New York Times' Reader Stoked After Noticing Article Penned By Favorite Reporting Duo

'Cha-Ching! It's Michael D. Shear And Jeremy W. Peters Time!'

COLUMBIA, SC—Saying that he is always in the mood for a little Michael D. Shear/Jeremy W. Peters action, New York Times reader Mitchell Gleason was reportedly pumped Wednesday after noticing that an article about Barack Obama’s judicial picks for a Washington, D.C. federal court was authored by his favorite reporting duo. “Here we go, baby! Shear and Peters in effect!” Gleason told reporters, adding that he usually counts on Michael D. Shear for his judicial reportage but that instances when correspondent Jeremy Peters teams up with him are “rare treats indeed.” “The thing is, these guys balance each other out perfectly. Peters brings Shear out of his comfort zone, and Shear brings Peters down to earth. You might have a favorite—my wife’s more of a Shear person, and I’m definitely a Peters guy—but when you get these two together, boom. It’s like lightning in a bottle.” At press time, Gleason was speculating how “fucking amazing” it would be if both teamed up to write a book about the federal justice system.

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