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34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.

Mom Produces Decorative Gift Bag Out Of Thin Air

LEXINGTON, MA—Conjuring the item into existence along with several sheets of perfectly coordinated tissue paper, local mother Caroline Wolfson, 49, reportedly produced a decorative gift bag out of thin air Tuesday within a mere fraction of a second of her daughter mentioning she needed to wrap a present.

Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.

Roommate Skulking Around Edge Of Party Like Victorian Ghost Child

SEATTLE—Appearing initially in the far corner of the living room and then several minutes later on the threshold between the kitchen and the hallway, local roommate Kelsey Stahl was, by multiple accounts, seen skulking around the edge of a house party Friday like a Victorian ghost child.

Man Praying Interviewer Doesn’t Ask Any Questions

MINNEAPOLIS—His mouth going dry and his palms growing sweaty as he arrived at the offices of Regent Advertising Partners to interview for an open account manager position, local man Devin McKee reportedly prayed Thursday that the hiring manager wouldn’t ask him any questions during their meeting.

Man Had No Idea Cough Was Going To Be Wet One

MUSKEGON, MI—Caught completely off guard by the viscous lump of sputum that was dislodged and sent rocketing upward from his lower respiratory tract, area man Luke Reese confirmed Wednesday he had no idea his impending cough was going to be a wet one.
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New Yorker Subscriber Considering Bose Wave Radio Purchase

MAMARONECK, NY–According to reports, Mamaroneck-area New Yorker reader Cal Tillinghast is strongly considering the purchase of a Bose Wave radio.

Cal Tillinghast browses the latest issue of <I>The New Yorker</I>, which contains an ad for the amazing Bose Wave radio.

The 49-year-old Tillinghast, associate curator of special exhibits for the Whitney Museum, was moved to consider purchasing a Bose Wave radio after spotting an ad for the distinctively curved piece of sound equipment on page 47 of the September issue of The New Yorker.

"I was looking for the Talk Of The Town page when an ad for a most unusual product caught my eye," Tillinghast said. "Could the compact Bose Wave radio, with its patented acoustic waveguide, really produce room-filling sound at the touch of a button? I was intrigued, to say the least."

After reading the ad, Tillinghast returned to his general browsing of the magazine, enjoying several book reviews and the Shouts & Murmurs page while sipping a glass of wine brought to him by his wife Eleanor. Before long, however, Tillinghast was overwhelmed by an urge to return to the ad.

"I was reading a wonderfully droll Henry Beard piece about cats, but all I could think about was that Bose Wave radio," said Tillinghast, pausing to remove his reading glasses. "The prospect of enjoying my favorite Mahler symphony in concert-hall-quality sound right in the comfort of my own living room was simply too enticing to ignore."

Added Tillinghast: "Not only is the Bose Wave radio small enough to fit anywhere, it's available in imperial white or graphite gray and comes complete with a credit-card-sized remote."

Tillinghast, a New Yorker subscriber for more than 20 years, has on numerous occasions learned of revolutionary new products through the magazine. Among the products he has discovered: a light-up "Starry Night" pillow that brings the Van Gogh masterpiece to life, mail-order filet mignons from Omaha Steaks, a Fujiyama 2 ceramic pen, a 14K gold turtle pin, a Hammacher Schlemmer shaving set, and a remarkable Swim At Home 8' x 15' "Endless Pool."

"I also found a book light that clips right on to whatever you're reading," added Tillinghast. "It's been quite useful."

But of all the products Tillinghast has seen advertised in The New Yorker, none has captured his imagination like the Bose Wave radio.

"Mind you, this is no normal radio–they won an award for it," said Tillinghast, referring to the Popular Science "Best Of What's New" award presented to Bose four years ago.

Tillinghast said he is "99 percent certain" he will purchase the Bose Wave radio, but is taking time to consider all factors before making a final decision.

"At $349, it is a bit pricey for just a radio," he said. "But it would certainly make a wonderful conversation piece. And Eleanor would doubtless enjoy using it to listen to All Things Considered while doing the puzzle."

Tillinghast said he feels pressure to decide soon. "If I order by the end of the month, I get free shipping, which is always nice," he said. "In reality, though, I have even less time to decide, because Eleanor and I leave for Luxor on the 26th."

"I suppose I'll think it over a few more days," Tillinghast said. "Then again, what do I have to lose? I can return it within 30 days if I'm not simply amazed by the sound."

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