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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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News Of Jenna Elfman Sitcom Sends Herd Of Buffalo Into Wild Stampede

WYOMING—Hundreds of buffalo thundered across the Wyoming plains Thursday after news of actress Jenna Elfman's latest sitcom, Accidentally On Purpose, spooked the unsuspecting herbivores. Upon learning of the new CBS comedy about a single woman who finds herself pregnant after a one-night stand with a much younger guy, the buffalo charged en masse, responding as if by instinct alone. "A stampede of this magnitude is extremely rare," said Howard Kremer, a specialist in herd-bound behavior who noted that this was one of the most destructive events of its kind he had ever seen. "Only a large enough threat, such as an approaching pack of wolves, or a quirky prime-time vehicle built around the former costar of Dharma And Greg, could trigger it." At press time, the frightened herd had run itself off a nearby cliff, so blind was its desire to escape the hijinks and hilarity airing Mondays this fall.

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