adBlockCheck

Sports

Who's Fucking: Zack and Evan

Coworkers Zack and Evan talk about moving past first impressions, stepping out of your comfort zone, and understanding what it really means to fuck someone.

Milestones In X Games History

With the X Games kicking off in Minneapolis this Thursday, The Onion looks back at memorable moments in the event’s 22-year history:

ESPN Holds Daytime ESPYs

HARTFORD, CT—Recognizing the best in sports programming that occurs on weekdays from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., ESPN held the Daytime ESPY Awards at the Hartford XL Center Wednesday afternoon.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

OB-GYN Assures Serena Williams Fetus Developing Serve On Schedule

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Observing that the unborn child was producing the smooth, fluid strokes expected in the third trimester, ob-gyn Dr. Theresa Umbers reportedly assured world No. 4–ranked tennis player Serena Williams at an appointment Tuesday that her fetus was developing its serve right on schedule.

New Report Finds MMA Could Be Bad For Your Knees

LOS ANGELES—Following a 10-year study of more than 500 professional and amateur fighters, a report released Thursday by the UCLA Department of Physiology found that mixed martial arts could be bad for your knees.
End Of Section
  • More News

Next In The Dome: A New Kobe, Boxing History In The Making And One Expert's Analysis Gets Thrown To The Pile

The SportsDome is starting to rev up, readying itself to bring you an overflowing plate of the latest sports information. Mark Shepard and Alex Reiser are going to make it happen and fill your brain full of sports knowledge until it hemorrhages and bleeds out.

Tune in to Onion SportsDome TONIGHT 1030/930c on Comedy Central.

Tonight's stories include:

- Lakers star Kobe Bryant is getting ready to unveil his most recent personality and the Dome has the scoop.

- Boxing fans across the country are watching a potentially historic match in Las Vegas, hoping to see over-the-hill tomato can Kent Sudder die in the ring tonight.

- One of OSN's top analysts is ready to get shouted down by ten loud, angry men in The Pile-On.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close