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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Next In The Dome: Super Bowl Put On Hold, Big Ben One Win Away From Being A Good Person, and National Crystal Meth Hallucination League Action

Hit the deck and find a big piece of tin to hide under, because the SportsDome's buzzing your house with the biggest Super Bowl analysis anywhere. Alex Reiser and Mark Shepard are dropping a full payload of Agent Sports all over your village and watching it burn to Super Bowl Sports-Cinders.

Tune in to Onion SportsDome TONIGHT 1030/930c on Comedy Central.

Tonight's stories include:

- Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger just one win shy of becoming a good person.

- The NFL puts the big game on hold to give Doritos more time to finish their Super Bowl commercial.

- And in non-Super Bowl action, an epic performance out of Todd Minnick in the National Crystal Meth Hallucination League.

All of that plus more Super Bowl analysis than you can fit in a lunch pail. The Dome's your home for the big game, don't go anywhere else.

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