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OB-GYN Assures Serena Williams Fetus Developing Serve On Schedule

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Observing that the unborn child was producing the smooth, fluid strokes expected in the third trimester, ob-gyn Dr. Theresa Umbers reportedly assured world No. 4–ranked tennis player Serena Williams at an appointment Tuesday that her fetus was developing its serve right on schedule.

New Report Finds MMA Could Be Bad For Your Knees

LOS ANGELES—Following a 10-year study of more than 500 professional and amateur fighters, a report released Thursday by the UCLA Department of Physiology found that mixed martial arts could be bad for your knees.

Mr. Met’s Son Beginning To Think He Adopted

NEW YORK—Pointing out that there was little physical resemblance between himself and the rest of his family, the 10-year-old son of New York Mets mascot Mr. Met told reporters Tuesday that he was beginning to think he was adopted.

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.
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Next In The Dome: Super Bowl Put On Hold, Big Ben One Win Away From Being A Good Person, and National Crystal Meth Hallucination League Action

Hit the deck and find a big piece of tin to hide under, because the SportsDome's buzzing your house with the biggest Super Bowl analysis anywhere. Alex Reiser and Mark Shepard are dropping a full payload of Agent Sports all over your village and watching it burn to Super Bowl Sports-Cinders.

Tune in to Onion SportsDome TONIGHT 1030/930c on Comedy Central.

Tonight's stories include:

- Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger just one win shy of becoming a good person.

- The NFL puts the big game on hold to give Doritos more time to finish their Super Bowl commercial.

- And in non-Super Bowl action, an epic performance out of Todd Minnick in the National Crystal Meth Hallucination League.

All of that plus more Super Bowl analysis than you can fit in a lunch pail. The Dome's your home for the big game, don't go anywhere else.

More from this section

New Report Finds MMA Could Be Bad For Your Knees

LOS ANGELES—Following a 10-year study of more than 500 professional and amateur fighters, a report released Thursday by the UCLA Department of Physiology found that mixed martial arts could be bad for your knees.

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