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Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

NFL Implements New Court Date Attire Regulations

NEW YORK—Citing players’ responsibility to represent themselves and the league in a professional manner, the NFL announced a new set of regulations Monday governing the attire that players are allowed to wear during court dates.

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.
End Of Section
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NFC North

Minnesota Vikings

  • Strength: Showing off his youthful exuberance, 40-year-old Brett Favre is still out there running the media around like a little kid; defensive tackles Kevin Williams and Pat Williams look impressive in their ability to stop all forms of justice from being served in their StarCaps trial
  • Weakness: The Vikings have struggled to prepare for opponents ever since Minnesota Child Protective Services seized Brad Childress' entire tape collection
  • Intangibles: Except for Matt, John, and Rick, who are pretty great guys, Vikings fans are pretty much ignorant, petulant bandwagoners
  • Biggest Question: The Vikings still have many unanswered questions in the secondary, such as "What's a cornerback?" and "Who was supposed to cover that guy?"

Chicago Bears

  • Strength: Running back Matt Forte silenced doubters when he had no problem pushing the offensive line out of his way
  • Weakness: Lovie Smith spending majority of practice having players help him pack up his office
  • Player To Watch: Quarterback Jay Culter displayed his toughness and resilience after getting his thumb stuck in the metal spring clip on his clipboard
  • Biggest Question: Mike Martz has expressed doubts in offensive players' ability to learn the wide variety of fish at Chicago's Shedd Aquarium

Detroit Lions

  • Strength: Since they play in the NFC North, this team should get two easy wins when facing the lowly Lions
  • Weakness: Despite the prayers of fans, players, and coaches, it doesn't seem plausible that the Ford Field stadium will spontaneously collapse
  • Player To Watch: Rookie defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh has the power to burst through the offensive line, the speed to outrun coaches, and the endurance to hide in the parking lot until his contract ends
  • Biggest Question: Is this talent-rich roster willing to put in extra effort to get cut from the team?

Green Bay Packers

  • Strength: After giving up 50 sacks in 2009, Green Bay's offensive line appears to have forgiven Aaron Rodgers for whatever he did
  • Weakness: With too many offensive weapons, thoughtful quarterback Aaron Rodgers may struggle with deciding who really deserves the ball the most
  • Player To Watch: Former first-round draft pick Justin Harrell is chasing down quarterbacks better than ever with his new motorized wheelchair
  • Intangibles: Wide range of veterans and young players may make it hard for the team to find common ground on movies and music they like

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