adBlockCheck

Sports

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
End Of Section
  • More News

NFL Camera Operators Prepare For Challenging Year Of Avoiding Offensive Michael Sam Signs

NEW YORK—Saying that they’ll have to rely on nearly every trick they’ve learned, NFL camera operators told reporters Friday they are already preparing for a difficult year of avoiding fans who hold up derogatory signs directed at openly gay defensive end Michael Sam. “It’s safe to say that cutting to opposing fans after Sam makes a big play will always be out of the question,” said cameraman Joseph Heizer, adding that when they are obligated to pan the crowd, they’ll need to be ready to quickly jerk away from inflammatory signs and land on something safe like the referees, coaching staff, or turf. “We’re also going to stick with a lot of zoomed-out, low-focus shots of the stands so that the poster boards with homophobic slurs just look like colorful squares. And any time we do zoom in on screaming fans, we’ll just have to shake the camera a little bit so you can’t tell what they’re actually shouting.” The cameramen added that they are also proposing a 15-second delay for all games taking place in the South.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close