adBlockCheck

NFL Fans Turn Out In Droves To Watch Men Touch Cones

Top Headlines

Sports

Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Holidays

NFL Fans Turn Out In Droves To Watch Men Touch Cones

NEW YORK—Fans of professional football turned out more than 100,000 strong last week to watch grown men perform calisthenics, huddle around one another, and even run up to and touch orange cones, spokesmen for the NFL said Wednesday. "There is nothing better than driving to Green Bay to see real, full-fledged adults dress up in team-colored gym shorts and T-shirts and jog around the practice field in a desultory fashion," Chicago resident Jan Bryant told reporters. "Sit-ups, squats, and milling around and taking water breaks… You just never know what amazing stuff you're going to see at training camp." While the NFL would not comment on plans for the second week of training camp, fans were excited by rumors that some teams were planning a session of throwing and catching an actual football.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close