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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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NFL Fines Chad Johnson For Elaborate Catch

CINCINNATI, OH—The NFL Competition Committee levied a $35,000 fine against Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson Thursday for an excessive reception in the fourth quarter of Sunday's game against the Titans. "After conclusively studying the film of Chad Johnson's leaping three-yard touchdown catch, we found that it was clearly a jab at the other team," said NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, who felt the Pro-Bowl receiver's flagrant display of athletic ability was "gaudy" and "went beyond the bounds of good taste." "Did Johnson need to jump that high and stretch his arms that far out in order to catch the ball? I don't really think so… We need to warn him that if he pulls any more aerial stunts like this he will be suspended." Goodell added that he had reason believed Johnson's attention-grabbing end-zone antics were premeditated, and that such catches were rehearsed dozens of times during the week with the full cooperation of his team.

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