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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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NFL Forbids Chiefs From Creating Their Own Schedule Again Next Season

NEW YORK—Assuring reporters that the team will soon be “back on a level playing field,” NFL commissioner Roger Goodell announced Tuesday that the currently undefeated Kansas City Chiefs will not be permitted to create their own schedule again next season. “Though we allowed them to make these decisions this time around, the Kansas City Chiefs will not be able to handpick which NFC and AFC divisions they’re matched up against next year,” said Goodell, adding that in order to maintain parity across both conferences, the Chiefs will not be authorized to once again dictate which games they play at home or the timing of their bye week. “We felt it wasn’t in the best interests of the league to invite Kansas City’s upper management back to the NFL front office next April to choose their opponents, the order in which they play those opponents, each week’s kickoff time, and the location of every game. Letting the Chiefs select the absolute easiest schedule possible ultimately reflects poorly on the NFL as a whole, and was clearly an abuse of the privilege.” Goodell also noted that the league may allow the Jacksonville Jaguars to choose their schedule next season, but admitted to reporters “it probably won’t make a difference anyway.”

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