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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Carson Wentz

After being selected second overall in the 2016 NFL Draft, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz opened the season with a nearly flawless performance in a victory over the Cleveland Browns. Is he any good?
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NFL Hopes Rolling Stones Will Attract 18-To-55 Male Demographic

DETROIT—With ratings for the Super Bowl telecast dropping to the point where a mere 86.1 million viewers watched the program in 2005, the NFL and Super Bowl XL broadcast partner ABC will attempt to reach their key demographic—males ages 18 to 55—with a halftime performance by the Rolling Stones. "Advertisers for this annual championship sporting event are targeting working- and middle-class males in this valuable age bracket, and we believe there's no more surefire way to convince American men to watch a football game than to offer them the driving blue-collar rock of the Stones," said NFL vice president of programming Charles Coplin. "The Rolling Stones are an iconic musical presence that, for 40 years, has been bringing fathers and sons together on the weekends. That's precisely the kind of thing we want adult males to associate with our sporting event." ABC executives are cautiously optimistic that the Rolling Stones may even be able to reach viewers up to age 65, many of whom started following the band when they first established themselves in 1966.

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