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Patriotic Teen Fails Spanish

Jean Anne Whorton goes Beyond The Facts, talking to the high school sophomore who has become a conservative hero for refusing to learn his Spanish vocabulary.

MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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NFL Increasingly Worried About Character Issues Of Fans

NEW YORK—Stressing that it reflects poorly on the league as a whole, NFL officials admitted Friday that they are increasingly concerned with the apparent character issues of most fans. “Frankly, the unruly and disrespectful behavior we’re currently seeing from many of our fans is deeply troubling,” said NFL spokesman Greg Aiello, noting that the significant number of off-the-field incidents—ranging from DUI arrests to instances of domestic violence and alleged gang activity—represents a disturbing trend among current NFL fans. “We of course understand that many of these fans have had difficult upbringings, and we’re willing to provide support and mentoring to help them avoid engaging in any sort of troublesome activity. However, every fan across the league must be held accountable for what they say and do, even insofar as the way they dress and present themselves in public. They need to understand that when they make poor decisions, it casts a negative light on the entire NFL.” A league representative speaking to reporters on condition of anonymity, however, said fans are “allowed to get away with anything” and claimed that the league could never afford to cut ties with them.

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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

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