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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
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NFL Increasingly Worried About Character Issues Of Fans

NEW YORK—Stressing that it reflects poorly on the league as a whole, NFL officials admitted Friday that they are increasingly concerned with the apparent character issues of most fans. “Frankly, the unruly and disrespectful behavior we’re currently seeing from many of our fans is deeply troubling,” said NFL spokesman Greg Aiello, noting that the significant number of off-the-field incidents—ranging from DUI arrests to instances of domestic violence and alleged gang activity—represents a disturbing trend among current NFL fans. “We of course understand that many of these fans have had difficult upbringings, and we’re willing to provide support and mentoring to help them avoid engaging in any sort of troublesome activity. However, every fan across the league must be held accountable for what they say and do, even insofar as the way they dress and present themselves in public. They need to understand that when they make poor decisions, it casts a negative light on the entire NFL.” A league representative speaking to reporters on condition of anonymity, however, said fans are “allowed to get away with anything” and claimed that the league could never afford to cut ties with them.

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