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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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NFL Players Asked To Come Up With Catchy Slogan For 2009 Super Bowl

NEW YORK—Commissioner Roger Goodell sent an emergency mass e-mail Tuesday to the entire NFL Players Association, requesting that everyone create a list of five to eight brainstorms for a captivating Super Bowl XLIII slogan by the end of the day.

"Hey all—Sorry to send this out at the so late [sic], but we really need a short catchy phrase that gets people excited about the Super Bowl," Goodell's message read in part. "Not only is this a great opportunity for you to have a say in the branding of the current Super Bowl, but the player who writes the winning slogan will receive $50. Please, don't just send in sarcastic ideas." According to the NFLPA, numerous athletes were unhappy about the mandatory assignment and filed official complaints that ranged from "this is not my job" to "linemen never get any help from Goodell when we need to plug a hole."

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