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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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NFL Players, Owners Warn Lockout May Be Over In Time For Exhibition Games

NEW YORK—With a principle agreement in their grasp and only rookie minimums remaining as a substantial stumbling block, representatives for both NFL owners and players cautioned Thursday that 2011's unpopular and most likely boring exhibition season may in fact go forward as scheduled. "We are working hard with both the owners and the player's association to resolve this issue as soon as possible, unfortunately," a press release from the league office read in part. "That could mean football as soon as August 7, when a bunch of guys who have no hope to make the Rams are scheduled to play a sad bunch of dopes who are trying to make the, uh, we think it's Bears. Whatever, we're not watching that crap." At press time attorneys for both sides were working around the clock to find "something, anything, no matter how penny-ante" that would keep talks going until September 8 and the opening of the regular season.

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