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NFL Referee Can’t Believe How Old He Looks In Video Replay

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

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RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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NFL Referee Can’t Believe How Old He Looks In Video Replay

INDIANAPOLIS—Spending several minutes staring incredulously at the monitor in the official review booth, NFL head referee Ron Winter reportedly could not believe how old he looked in a video replay used in a coach’s challenge Sunday. “Jesus, is this what I look like all the time?” Winter said aloud as he watched the footage of himself giving the signal for a completed catch, reportedly zooming in to inspect his deep facial wrinkles that he had never noticed before. “There’s all this skin sagging around my throat, I’ve got these jowls, and where the hell did that stomach come from? I just seem so tired and worn. Oh Christ, look at how slowly I’m hobbling across the field, like some doddering old fool.” According to sources, Winter then closed his eyes and emitted a deep sigh after pausing the replay at the moment his hat flew off.

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