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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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NFL Referee Can’t Believe How Old He Looks In Video Replay

INDIANAPOLIS—Spending several minutes staring incredulously at the monitor in the official review booth, NFL head referee Ron Winter reportedly could not believe how old he looked in a video replay used in a coach’s challenge Sunday. “Jesus, is this what I look like all the time?” Winter said aloud as he watched the footage of himself giving the signal for a completed catch, reportedly zooming in to inspect his deep facial wrinkles that he had never noticed before. “There’s all this skin sagging around my throat, I’ve got these jowls, and where the hell did that stomach come from? I just seem so tired and worn. Oh Christ, look at how slowly I’m hobbling across the field, like some doddering old fool.” According to sources, Winter then closed his eyes and emitted a deep sigh after pausing the replay at the moment his hat flew off.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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